I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!