come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.