no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
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Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
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Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS