I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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