I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
