last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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