question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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