Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
