get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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