Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
