I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
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We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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