i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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