just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
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How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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