Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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