I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Girls should come with a carfax report
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
