hell yes lets make some ravioli
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
