Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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