my mouth tastes like poor choices
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
