; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize