i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
