You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize