Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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