You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
