i just had sex bonerless
are you so shy because you have an std?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
