Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
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I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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