It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
