I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm like, not good at living.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
