Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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