I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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