Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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