How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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