My hand turned me down
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
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The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
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I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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