you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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