Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever