This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Randomize
