the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
