were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
you had me at cake vodka
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?