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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again

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• (863): View more from Florida

  Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me

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• (360): View more from Washington

  last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Can you bring me the toilet please

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating

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