Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?