plz talk dirty to me
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
