i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize