YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize