when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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