they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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