when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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