Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
