I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house