Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
God, I missed his penis.
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