So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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