He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize