My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
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I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
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Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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