It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
