UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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