We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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