Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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