ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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