We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
