I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I wish i was in the wii world.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
