every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
