Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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