Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize