what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
