i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
