I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
A bitchslap is in order.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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